Happy Birthday to Me

Dear Self,

For far too long you have long for this day. That's right, it's November 30, 2009.
1 year ago Today, not much happened. It’s actually kind of weird. I don’t remember a thing about a year ago Today. I’m sure you probably got some cards or something, but your mind was probably more focused on being only a year away from Today than anything.

3 years ago Today, you probably went out and bought a big stogie and lit that muh'fucka up. Actually, it probably wasn't big at all, since you didn't enter your stogie-smoking prime until more recently. It was probably a modestly sized cigar that was as mild as you could find. Which, by "could find" you mean the mildest the nice worker at Tinder Box showed you.

5 years ago Today you realized you could officially get your driver's license. However, not aware/caring enough of the amazing adventures that having a car could bring, you decided to wait until February to actually go through with the test. Oh by the way, nice job, Self, for passing on the first time. You'll always have that goin' for ya.

11 years ago Today you got your most kick-ass birthday present ever. That's right, Transformers. Wrapped up in the most recent Sunday comics, you opened them surrounded by your family and now-deceased dog (RIP Ladie).

I'm sure you get the drift by now Self, but 21 years ago Today, you were born. To be more precise, in about an hour and a half from this post you were born. This probably wouldn't mean much if you were born in Europe, Asia, or... pretty much anywhere but the U.S. of A. However Self, you are an American which makes Today a momentous day.

Cheers, Self. This one’s for you.

gimmie da hooch bitches

The Best Advice Ever

From some pretty OK teachers. I'm kind of hoping that there really are other people whoh read this, because if not, it would be a sick and twisted kind of post-graduate brown nosing.

And I ain't down wit dat.

Ahem (Paraphrasing. sorry, not exactly a titanium trap):

"I smoked once in college. I had one cigarette and I liked it a lot. So I knew I should never do it again."

-- Seriously... think about that for a second. Profound I tell ya.

"If you want to save your GPA, sure maybe you should drop the class and move down. But if you want to progress as a person, I think you should stay in the class, try to learn, and not worry about the grade."

-- Some chemguy way back in junior year. Something about a rather cranky math teacher on tenure giving me a couple bad quiz grades and me asking him if it would hurt to just drop the class. I still remember my grades for that class every quarter: C, B, A, A. I guess I learned something.

"If you really want to not have any more teen pregnancies give every kid in high school a car, a job, and something to do after school. They won't have time to have sex."

-- One of those off-topic days in the school paper that once was. Really, you can't argue with that much. And trust me, I love to argue.

They don't seem as profound when I try to recite them anywhere from a 1-2 years later. The point stands, you learn a lot from people outside of biology or chemistry or... publication/photography/ad-sale?

And I could rattle on even more about other stuff like Catholic guilt, that trap door guy in everyone's head (and how one person killed him), Olympic curling, coaching sports teams that suck (but don't you dare say they suck), raising money a couple pennies (and s***load of calls) at a time, just plain having a hobby outside of your job, or making sure your job is your hobby.

But I won't. Probably because the only people reading already know about that.

See, I do remember some stuff you teach :)

//creepy foreshadowing on the picture there...and yes.. i do always look that retarded.

Old Teachers Rock

Aside from being probably 75% of my page hits, they also give me free stuff every now and then! And, when Stinky finally comes through and remembers to get said free stuff after class but before she sees me, all is well in the world.